Good lord. La Mer. I have yet to meet one woman who doesn’t love it, and also yet to meet one woman who can resist buying her beloved La Mer products, regardless of cost. The Eye Balm is a beauty blogger staple, I’ve learned. The recently reformulated Serum inspires cross country searches for rare stock of the original batch, and then hoarding. This is a world where $70 for a tube of hand cream is easily justified because it is That Good.  My girlfriend is never without a tube of the La Mer Hand Treatment cream in her bag, and whenever I use it, I wonder why I don’t have some in my bag. Even I have admitted to myself that La Mer Lip Balm is the best I have ever used. Dear reader….I am there.

My amazing, fun, beautiful and smart La Mer counter manager is no fool. She provides samples of the precious juice. She puts them in worthy little jewels of sample jars, and wraps them up like they are as precious as you know they are. And then leaves you…to try….to love…to not ever want to be without. Such has happened in less than 48 hours with La Mer The Cleansing Foam. She told me – yes, it’s $85 for a tube. She then says- but it will last a year if you use it correctly. I think, “Yeah, right, whatever” as she wraps it up with a bow and places it in my gorgeous magenta Holts bag. Well, dear reader. Sorry, but I am sunk. She is right, I literally took a dollop of The Cleansing Foam smaller than a dime and used to wash my entire face. Like, the size of the cotton on the end of a Q-Tip. And you know what? My face felt cleaner than I could have imagined. My pores were squeaky clean, and my skin felt amazing. I was transported to a spa while the gentle citrus-y green tea scent calmed and soothed me. I would compare the scent to Bvlgari Thé Vert, which is also the scent of the hand cream. It’s perfect. Like some kind of Perfect Beauty God is running the La Mer labs saying “Hey you guys, let’s make sure the scent, texture and performance of every product La Mer makes is P E R F E C T and that no one can ever use anything else after they try this, m’kay?”

So. Can anyone help me? Tell me about a product that is actually better? Because I swear I can hear my wallet crying from here.

La Mer Cleansing Foam is $85 CAN but weirdly it is $65 USD in the States. This is another abusive exchange issue for Canadians, like the extra $100 we pay for Ugg boots, or the extra $100 for those J Brand Cargo Pants. Don’t get me started.